by Jerry Medol – Director –
Dr. Andrew Hill, lecturer in sports and exercise science in the University of Leeds’ Faculty of Biological Sciences, led a study on why some sports coaches engage in outbursts of anger. The article, “When Managers attack: Coaches who care about pundits’ opinions worse at controlling anger” was published in the MedicalXpress News.
My comments:
It is remarkable these days to see common sense values being reinforced by high salary big dollar experts, but that is what is happening here. For all the fancy words that obscure the truth, simply said this article basically affirms the fact that people who take responsibility for their own feelings are more successful and effective than people who believe they should be able to control others.
Is this common sense? Most of us are taught from early childhood that we can’t control anything but ourselves, but some people don’t get the message. Somehow many people still grow up believing they are supposed to have control of others and even find fault with themselves if they aren’t able to control another person.
This assumption is the basis of most abusive relationships. The belief that one person can or should be able to control another person assumes: that person has the right to be aggressive with another person and show them disrespect and dominate them.
The fact is that no one person has the right to control or dominate another person, and interestingly goals and productivity and accomplishment are all higher and less stressful when the people involved respect one another and ask for what they want. When we tell another person what we want or need, we are much more likely to get what we want than if we try to tell that same person what it is they have to do.
People naturally resist when they are ordered or told or controlled or feel disrespected. Respect happens by sharing and honoring one another, and giving another person an order is an act of dominance not respect. It may go contrary to what some people believe, but it is much more likely we will get something we want if we ask for it.
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