You may have an anger problem if:
- You were disrespected as a child.
- You show disrespect for others or yourself.
- You act on feelings without thinking.
- You blame others for how you feel.
- You do not know how to tell somebody when you are hurt.
- You use addictive behaviors (alcohol, drugs, sex, work, etc.) to avoid feeling.
You are likely coping the best you know how with the skills you have learned.We all do the best we can with the tools we have learned.
- That does not make you wrong.
- It does not make the people who taught you wrong
- It does mean you are responsible to learn to stop the behavior
- It does mean you have to learn how to stop reacting if you want to stabilize your life and be a healthy part of the lives of those around you
You are not the problem
How you are behaving is the problem.
You can change.
You can break the anger pattern.
By using RT© and PAF©, Anger Alternatives teaches you tools:
- To control reactions
- To separate the anger from the behavior
- To recognize hurts
- To recognize needs and wants
- To speak for yourself
- To establish limits and boundaries.
- To recognize other options
- To make healthy choices
- To achieve balance in your life
- To establish and maintain respect-based relationships
It is not reasonable to lose control and hurt somebody you love with words or actions.
Those behaviors hurt others’ emotional well-being. Those behaviors violate others’ trust.
If other people around you are also reactive, everybody’s lives are harmed. If there are children, you are teaching them the same anger behavior.
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