Jerry Medol has changed our lives in a wonderful way. He is the first of many therapists to deal with the real issues surrounding our teenage son and his interactions within our family. Our son has ADHD and oppositional-defiance tendencies, and has been a parenting challenge since his early days.

Jerry provides new, insightful approaches to old problems. He is a warm, empathetic gentleman who puts children and adults at ease, allowing them to feel comfortable opening up with their feelings. He helps others to be honest and accountable for their behavior. He has helped us individually, as a couple and as a family (3 other sons) with techniques for much more positive interactions and a lot less drama in our home. We are so grateful for his intervention.

Thank you so much for the insight and skills you’ve given us, and the genuine care you’ve shown for us. We both think very highly of you and hope you realize what a strong and positive influence you’ve had on our lives. I think we’ve turned a corner and that we have wonderful things to look forward to in our lives. We will always remember that you were there at that turning point.
H. and K.

I thank you for your support and I often think of our sessions together. Your assistance validated what I also knew. I am a strong, competent, compassionate, and firm leader. My employees have told me my communication skills are exceptional. Several of my adversaries left the company, and once that happened the “door of heaven” opened for me.

In 1992, I participated in the Stoppit! program. The program gave me an opportunity to look inside myself, face my fears, and confront my anger. I learned how to identify my needs and wants, and how to communicate them in a positive way. I learned how to take risks in order to grow and heal and I’ve been able to stop the cycle of addiction and abuse.

Even 15 years later, there are times when I’m confronted with shame, anger, hurt, and fear. All I need to do is stop and breathe, and listen to the lessons I learned.

The Stoppit! program has given me a foundation to build the kind of life that I want to live.
Gerald Humbert Jr.

The gifts you gave my husband saved our marriage and allowed him to discover who he is and begin to find peace within himself. . . .I feel compelled to let you know that you have changed our lives for the better in ways most people would never understand; even I am surprised by this empowerment. . . .My husband has taken a new position with which he feels comfortable and challenged by, and we are expecting our first child. I do not believe we would be on this journey had you not provided us the courage and strength to make such drastic changes in our lives. We are happier than we have ever been.”

My family is having a hard time accepting how fast I have changed and I’m amazed at how good I feel. I felt so down and so bad for so long. It’s great to realize that I don’t have to control another person. It took a lot of energy to control things to my liking”

I used to be afraid to tell anyone I was unhappy or angry about my situation. I would allow people, particularly my husband, to take advantage of me to the point of abuse. I would repress my anger until I couldn’t stand it any more, then I would overreact to anything I believed infringed on my personal boundaries. My pent-up anger would then surprise and anger other people so much they would retaliate against me. In this way, I left myself open to even more abuse. Anger Alternatives has taught me how to take responsibility for my own needs and wants and to make them known to others in appropriate ways.

Rage, what is it? After over a year of counseling, I have learned not only what it is, but how to eliminate it from my life. This has been the most powerful experience of my life.

I have been well acquainted with Jerry Medol’s work for 25 years. I first served on the Board of Directors for his Men’s Project in the 1980s, observing Jerry closely as he developed his ground-breaking model for reducing men’s violence and gave them new options for monitoring and expressing their needs and their anger. During these years, Jerry’s work with the Men’s Project justifiably captured national attention. Since then he has expanded his training to include women and a generation of trainers, as well as inspiring a positive empowering men’s movement on a local and national level. Jerry is a gifted teacher, a highly principled wise man, and a sensitive and passionate human being. He brings personal experience, eclectic intelligence and compassion to his work. Jerry’s work has been his passion for over 30 years, and he has touched the lives of thousands.
Daniel C. Claiborn, Ph.D.
Forensic Psychology Associates, Inc.

Over the years I have had many opportunities to work collaboratively with Jerry in assisting clients as they break through anger and deal with the shame that lies beneath the strong emotion. Jerry is an effective educator, and he has the ability to guide men, women, and children into gaining mastery over reactivity which leads to physical, emotional, and spiritual violence.
Janet A. Beverley, LSCSW
Janet A. Beverley Counseling and Consultation Services, P.A.
Overland Park, Kansas

Thank you for facilitating your class. I especially appreciate your commitment, I know lives were transformed as a result of your efforts.
Rev. Bob Barth
Unity Church
Overland Park, Kansas

Thank you so much for a deep, provoking program. I heard many compliments about what you said and how you handled the situations people talked about.
I learned something about working with my clients.
Cheryl W. Intrater
Jewish Vocational Service
Director Career Management Services

Thank you for an awesome evening that you shared with the Adult ADD/ADHD group! I really enjoyed your work and it was obvious that the group connected with you easily and learned so much. I could feel lives being touched and changed in that room from your work. Thank you for giving your time, yourselves and your wonderful gift.
Laura L. Murphy
Real Families Inc.

The power to slow down and respond instead of reacting when I feel anger is one of the greatest gifts I have received from the program. I feel calmer and in control of my emotions most of the time. I am more open about my feelings and I tell people how I feel. I feel personal empowerment when I can catch myself starting to loose control and I stop myself from reacting and I take the time to respond. Before I started the Stoppit! Program, I would yell, slam doors, and if “she really made me mad”, I would throw things. Thanks for creating the Stoppit! Program.

Bret Westrope PictureHi, My name is Bret and I would like to talk about what Anger Alternatives and the Stop It group have done for me and the people in my life. I found out about this group on a Saturday afternoon in June 2007 through the Domestic Violence hot-line. I was going through a divorce and I was a very angry man full of confusion, anger and most of all blame! My world as I knew it was crashing down around me and I didn’t know how to deal with it.

The previous month I had assaulted my wife in a blind rage and it scared the Hell out of me. This is where I was blaming her for the problems in our marriage. For me it was her fault and don’t try to tell me any different. I was blaming, “If it weren’t for you my life would be awesome!” Through this program I have learned about the difference between blaming, shaming, and guilt. I have had the chance to learn to take inventory of my stuff and own it.. Most of all this program showed me that anger is OK, when I respond to it instead of reacting to it. Most of all I have learned how to read my thoughts and emotions and respond in a healthy and safe manner instead of blaming or shaming!

In closing I would like to thank Jerry, Rusty and all of the people who have helped me to see a better tomorrow and to live my life in the today!

With Love and Admiration,
Bret Westrope
A Grateful Graduate of the Stop-It Group

Jay Neidl PictureIn September of 2008, I started seeing a counselor about my negativity and anger issues. After visiting with him a couple of times, he recommended that I call Jerry and talk with him. I met with Jerry at the end of September and he invited me to the Stoppit! Program, which I accepted, and I have going every week since. I cannot say enough positive things about this wonderful program, or about the wonderful founder and his partner. Jerry and Rusty have given me the tools to make my life so much more enjoyable. Not only have I noticed a huge change in the way that I deal with my anger and hurt, my wife and children have also noticed. I would recommend this program to everyone that seeks help with anger issue. I would, and do swear by this program, I am a changed man because of the tremendous guidance of people who truly care.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you!
Jay Neidl

Paul Goldman PictureThe gift I received was in furthering recognition of what my anger was telling me, i.e, specifically that I was not feeling safe in a given situation and the reason was because I was not getting what I wanted out of the situation. Through Stoppit!learned to recognize much earlier what I was feeling and how to stop and ask assertively for what I wanted, recognizing that I may still not get what I wanted and that was okay. I could just look for a more healthy way to get what I wanted some other way.

The other gift I received is that having gone through two cycles ofStoppit! combined with my prior education and experience has led to my having completed the Facilitator Training Program so that I may assist others in learning new behaviors and having the opportunity to make real positive life impacting changes in their own lives. I am much more apt to recognize my signals that come up when I feel angry, take time to interpret those signals and ask for what I want. This means I am a much calmer person not prone to fly off the handle at little things. I have much more of that ‘p’ word: patience and that ‘a’ word acceptance about what I cannot change than ever before.

Similarly, I am able to assert myself in a positive way when a coworker says something inappropriate. I am able to stand up for myself and ask for what I want assertively. I do not give away my power by reacting to what others say or do. Before Stoppit! I flew off the handle without recognizing my signals or what my anger was trying to tell me? SinceStoppit! I am more aware of my signals and take the time to check in with myself and see what I am not getting out of what is going on. With this knowledge, I then assertively ask for what I want. This was both a personal initiative and in cooperation with the court system.
Paul G.

Sean Kelley PictureFrom the Stoppit! Program I received the gift of patience and trust in myself. I discovered about myself that I had lots of safety/security issues. I have turned these issues into better understanding what I want for myself. I can honestly say that I can feel myself healing. With the techniques I have gained from this program I have changed my entire outlook on life. Enjoying the little successes is just as important to me now then just waiting for the big ones.

I have learned about: the ability to know in myself that whatever life challenge comes my way that I have the tools to succeed and that regardless of the outcome – I am ok! I have been able to instill into both my children that people are always good it is their behaviors that are in question. I also do not keep my anger bottled up. I write in my notebook and that helps me diffuse the situation. I can then come back to that entry in the notebook later and try to understand what happened and if it happens again how can I handle it differently with a positive focus.

The Stoppit! Program changed my life.
Sean Kelly

Ben Mtundu PictureI embraced, ever so reluctantly the gateway emotion (anger). It has lead to an outpouring of God’s spiritual gifts, that I want, yet was afraid to ask for and didn’t know how to ask. This program has allowed me to see me in the raw, it prepared me for my unseen challenges that lay ahead in my family. To be aware of who I am and be as true to that as possible was a blessing. It’s helped me to focus up.

Me doing what works for me and being aware what doesn’t, helps in tracking my patterns. OH boy! How I handled anger before was no joke. I was going for the juggler. If I hadn’t done this work it was either jail or the grave.

Thanks be to God, I did it my way!
Ben Mtundu aka Benny Hupp