Anger Support Group Testimonials

The power to slow down and respond instead of reacting when I feel anger is one of the greatest gifts I have received from the program. I feel calmer and in control of my emotions most of the time. I am more open about my feelings and I tell people how I feel. I feel personal empowerment when I can catch myself starting to loose control and I stop myself from reacting and I take the time to respond. Before I started the Stoppit! Program, I would yell, slam doors, and if "she really made me mad", I would throw things. Thanks for creating the Stoppit! Program.
Jose

Hi, My name is Bret and I would like to talk about what Anger Alternatives and the Stop It group have done for me and the people in my life. I found out about this group on a Saturday afternoon in June 2007 through the Domestic Violence hot-line. I was going through a divorce and I was a very angry man full of confusion, anger and most of all blame! My world as I knew it was crashing down around me and I didn't know how to deal with it.

The previous month I had assaulted my wife in a blind rage and it scared the Hell out of me. This is where I was blaming her for the problems in our marriage. For me it was her fault and don't try to tell me any different. I was blaming, "If it weren't for you my life would be awesome!" Through this program I have learned about the difference between blaming, shaming, and guilt. I have had the chance to learn to take inventory of my stuff and own it.. Most of all this program showed me that anger is OK, when I respond to it instead of reacting to it. Most of all I have learned how to read my thoughts and emotions and respond in a healthy and safe manner instead of blaming or shaming!

In closing I would like to thank Jerry, Rusty and all of the people who have helped me to see a better tomorrow and to live my life in the today!

With Love and Admiration,
Bret Westrope
A Grateful Graduate of the Stop-It Group

In September of 2008, I started seeing a counselor about my negativity and anger issues. After visiting with him a couple of times, he recommended that I call Jerry and talk with him. I met with Jerry at the end of September and he invited me to the Stoppit! Program, which I accepted, and I have going every week since. I cannot say enough positive things about this wonderful program, or about the wonderful founder and his partner. Jerry and Rusty have given me the tools to make my life so much more enjoyable. Not only have I noticed a huge change in the way that I deal with my anger and hurt, my wife and children have also noticed. I would recommend this program to everyone that seeks help with anger issue. I would, and do swear by this program, I am a changed man because of the tremendous guidance of people who truly care.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you!
Jay Neidl

The gift I received was in furthering recognition of what my anger was telling me, i.e, specifically that I was not feeling safe in a given situation and the reason was because I was not getting what I wanted out of the situation. Through Stoppit! learned to recognize much earlier what I was feeling and how to stop and ask assertively for what I wanted, recognizing that I may still not get what I wanted and that was okay. I could just look for a more healthy way to get what I wanted some other way.

The other gift I received is that having gone through two cycles of Stoppit! combined with my prior education and experience has led to my having completed the Facilitator Training Program so that I may assist others in learning new behaviors and having the opportunity to make real positive life impacting changes in their own lives. I am much more apt to recognize my signals that come up when I feel angry, take time to interpret those signals and ask for what I want. This means I am a much calmer person not prone to fly off the handle at little things. I have much more of that 'p' word: patience and that 'a' word acceptance about what I cannot change than ever before.

Similarly, I am able to assert myself in a positive way when a coworker says something inappropriate. I am able to stand up for myself and ask for what I want assertively. I do not give away my power by reacting to what others say or do. Before Stoppit! I flew off the handle without recognizing my signals or what my anger was trying to tell me? Since Stoppit! I am more aware of my signals and take the time to check in with myself and see what I am not getting out of what is going on. With this knowledge, I then assertively ask for what I want. This was both a personal initiative and in cooperation with the court system.
Paul G.

From the Stoppit! Program I received the gift of patience and trust in myself. I discovered about myself that I had lots of safety/security issues. I have turned these issues into better understanding what I want for myself. I can honestly say that I can feel myself healing. With the techniques I have gained from this program I have changed my entire outlook on life. Enjoying the little successes is just as important to me now then just waiting for the big ones.

I have learned about: the ability to know in myself that whatever life challenge comes my way that I have the tools to succeed and that regardless of the outcome - I am ok! I have been able to instill into both my children that people are always good it is their behaviors that are in question. I also do not keep my anger bottled up. I write in my notebook and that helps me diffuse the situation. I can then come back to that entry in the notebook later and try to understand what happened and if it happens again how can I handle it differently with a positive focus.

The Stoppit! Program changed my life.
Sean Kelly

I embraced, ever so reluctantly the gateway emotion (anger). It has lead to an outpouring of God's spiritual gifts, that I want, yet was afraid to ask for and didn't know how to ask. This program has allowed me to see me in the raw, it prepared me for my unseen challenges that lay ahead in my family. To be aware of who I am and be as true to that as possible was a blessing. It's helped me to focus up.

Me doing what works for me and being aware what doesn't, helps in tracking my patterns. OH boy! How I handled anger before was no joke. I was going for the juggler. If I hadn't done this work it was either jail or the grave.

Thanks be to God, I did it my way!
Ben Mtundu aka Benny Hupp